Flash Gordon

Based on the 1930s comic strip by Alex Raymond, this wanky rendering is Star Wars designed by Fredericks of Hollywood, a future that's all camp and cleavage. The voluptuous cartoon-like setting is further festooned by its Queen soundtrack-Flash, FLASH, FLASH! The mongrel planet Mongo is home to Ming the Merciless (Max Von Sydow), a bald-pated tyrant, draped in crimson drapery with a collar like a TV dish. He gets great reception everywhere except on earth, where his terra technology has induced a flurry of earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. Hot to stop these unnatural disasters, Dr. Zarkov (Topol) kidnaps the New York Jets' quarterback, our hero of padded shoulder and surfer 'do, Flash Gordon (Sam J. Jones), and his cherubic arm-charm Dale Arden (Melody Anderson), and makes it like Mach 10 to Mongo. This randy rock is filled with oversexed goddesses like Princess Aura (Ornella Muti), boasting zero-gravity couture and off-planet appeal. Luckily, in space no one can hear you moan.

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