"As I look over your eager faces, I can readily understand why this college is flat on its back," proclaims Professor Wagstaff during his inaugural spiel to the student body of Huxley College. The old Wag is none other than Groucho Marx, donning his mortar, and bored. In a garish gesture of academic liberalism, he then launches into "Whatever It Is, I'm Against It," more balderdash than ballad. Prexy Wagstaff has taken over these ivy halls to nudge along his son Frank (Zeppo), an overage undergrad. Waggie soon discovers, however, that the priority is not academics but athletics, with the big game against Darwin coming up. Trying to pad the squad, he mistakes two saps from a speakeasy, Chico and Harpo, for gridiron gorillas and drafts them. The hilarious Horse Feathers gets high marks for skewering the scholarly. "Tomorrow we start tearing down the college." "But Professor, where will the students sleep?" "Where they always slept. In the classroom."