What good would a spy series be without a tawdry biopic of our nation's former “top cop”? Completed in 1978 but never theatrically released, The Private Files of J. Edgar Hoover casts Broderick Crawford as the jowly Hoover in what might be the first-ever history lesson as horror film. Panned by Variety as “cheap, lurid sensationalism,” Cohen's FBI flogger is that and more, a scandalous but politically astute exposé made without the de rigueur endorsement of the Bureau. Playing a disgruntled agent, Rip Torn narrates this tabloid-like testament to Hoover's rise from ungainly gangbuster to anti-Communist bulldog, pushing aside politicians and presidents alike in his wiggy witchhunts. Director Cohen reifies rumor by pulling back the sheets on Hoover's strange sexual proclivities. Spurning the advances of a female friend, Hoover retreats to the darkness of his room, where he guzzles booze and listens to a tape of an aroused politician he's bugged. The Private Files... puts the “Gee!” back in G-man.